Dear Summer 7/16/09

Dear Summer,

Thought about you today and had to write you again. I'm here in Atlanta all alone and wishing you were. I wish I could have you meet my great grandparents, if they were still alive, to show you how I want my marriage to be. I know i often rant about my family issues but it's only because I'm disgusted at what I see. I see nothing but hyenas and if you know anything about hyenas clan, they are governed by women and the men are on the bottom of the totem pole. I don't see myself as a hyena I see myself as a Lion and I will stand up as Man and play my natural role as one. I think of you and you bring the Lion out in me more and you let me be the Lion and i love that about you. I know what the bible says and all but I just don't feel like I should do that under the expense of me being emasculated as a man. But anyway, I wanna thank you for accepting me as I am and taking me as I am. I know I have faults and I can try your patience but inspite of all of that you still like me as I am and you don't try to change me. You give me encouraging words and you just talk to me. I love to talk and show parts of myself that I never get to show and i love doing that with you. There's apart in DMX's song Dogs for Life that I love because that how I want my relationship to be, it goes:

"Now who I am is who Ill be until I die, either accept it or dont fuck withIt. But if we gon be dogs then you stuck with it!Let me go my way but walk with meSee what I see, watch me then, talk with me. Share my pain, make it a little easier to deal with it. Cause despite all the fame you Im a keep it real with it (true)! Rob and steal withcha dog nigga whatRide till we die, on till its up.Love is love and I enjoy the love, But when its conflict then it destroys the love.You cant toy with love, niggas take to the heart. You aint gon find too many niggas willing to, bark in the dark.(come on!)Keep your head from the start, dont fuck it up now, Later on they be hit like, fuck it how? ? You my dog and I die for you, keep it like that, Give me unconditional love, and I give it right back."

That's how I see where we are going. I like that you are not afraid to go there with me and I can tell you anything without being judged. You are so understanding that it amazes me. And then I think about the movie scarface and I say to myself "She's a Tiger". And that what you are to me Summer, A tiger. I remember seeing a documentary on Tigers and how they were like a keystone to a bridge. And that's what you are to me Summer a keystone to the bridge we are building with each other. Eventhough we are still working on the foundations. we are still building something that is wonderful in my eyes. I know i can be jealous when it comes to you, but hell you're beautiful and beyond. I always know there will guys swooning over you, but I just be like, "damn give her room to breathe, you messing up my time with my baby. Soak up sum game and get your on and get off of mine." However, I know that you are with me and you are not going no where and you show me that everyday. There are times when I envy you just for being the way you are, having the kind of parents and siblings you have. Don't get me wrong, I'm content, but it's like, wow! That's what i strive for with my own kids because i didn't have that. Now, it was all bad, but it seems like it's getting worse as I get older and those happy times are just memories.

Summer you inspire me to do so much. I think of ways to show you how much I care or feel about you. You just have my imagination working overtime. I was in the pool by myself thinking about playing in the pool with you, kissing you, and just holding you. There are just times when I just want to go on a series of adventures with you and just see the world with you and experience so much with you at my side. Sometimes I see you as home, and I can't wait to come home. So summer if you ever wanted me there to stay all you have to do say come home and i will come with the quickness, through hell or high water lol. I love our teamwork, and how we communicate on everything. Like nothing is to big or too much that we can't talk about. It's Like we have our own inside joke that only we know about and wouldn't make sense to the rest of the world. I want to always keep strong communication with you. Like I always say, It's you and me against world, and I'm always ready to fight and to go to war. I have never wanted to fight or protect something so much the way i want to with you. I see you as a precious gift as a Queen that I must defend in order to save the kingdom. A woman of peace and serenity, that's what you are. A beautiful dove that has come to tell Noah that the flood is coming to an end. Thank you for being you Summer and allowing me to be me.

I Like You.